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schmemmles
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Country: United States
State: Pennsylvania
Metro: Bucks County
Birthday: 3/2/1981
Gender: Female
Interests: Experiencing God's gift, books, music, movies, watching the occassional SNL
Expertise: Computational fluid dynamo physics
&
L.M. Montgomery
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
2/2/2003
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| Come celebrate with me! I am officially a published writer. Here's the link to my article (hopefully they'll keep it up there, for at least a little bit). And, yes, I do realize that its journalistic fluff. But gosh darn it, its MY journalistic fluff!!!! To quote that legendary cinematic masterpiece, Newsies: "Tomorrow they may wrap fishes in it, but I was a star for one whole minute." http://www.phillyburbs.com/pb-dyn/section.cfm?id=111&tmpl=local_news | | |
| It has been entirely too long since I last posted. So long, in fact, that I completely forgot my xanga password and was blocked after several attempts. And I'm pretty sure that the email address from my profile is obsolete. In addition to neglecting xanga, I have recently joined LinkedIn as well as Facebook. So now I have two more networks to ignore. Ha Ha.
Not too much crazy has been happening. I guess the biggest thing was Labor Day vacation in Cape Cod. That was awesome. Stay tuned for some pics. Incidentally, I'm trying to decide the best way to print out my digital pics. Our home printer is not an option (it was my graduation present from high school). Any suggestions?
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| I decided to enter a writing contest for the MMORPG (massively multi-player online role playing game) that I spend entirely way too much time playing, Puzzle Pirates. The object of the contest was to write a humorous story in which a historical figure has an adventure with pirates. The only condition is that the figure has to be dead (a rule that was not quite understood by the person who submitted a story about Chuck Norris and his adventure with pirates). My personal favorite submission (next to mine, of course) was Steve Irwin and a close runner up was Fred Rogers. But here is mine, so you be the judge!
Sigmund Freud in an Adventure with Pirates!
"Avast there! Look Lively ye scalawags and throw the man a line!"
As soon as Nefarious Liam had seen the dinghy floating about in the
middle of the ocean, he knew something was amiss. He had no idea where
it had come from or how anyone could have survived so far from land.
But being captain of the Big Tuna had taught him enough to know that
the sea had her reasons for bringing many a strange visitor to ship and
to shore. And perhaps this time the sea was bringing him someone to
help him in his search for his greatest desire: the Widow Queen!
"Ahoy, fine sir," Liam said, extending his hand to help the man aboard.
"Welcome to the Big Tuna. I am her captain Nefarious Liam. To what do I
owe the pleasure of yer acquaintance?"
The gentleman was dressed in
a finely tailored, 3-piece suit. His thinning salt and pepper hair was
slicked closely to his scalp and his chin featured a full,
well-maintained white beard. In his hand he carried a still-smoking
cigar.
"Guten Tag, Herr Captain. I am Sigmund Freud and indeed, how
I came to be here is as much of a mystery to me as it must be to you.
But I am most certain of the fact that it was not by accident that our
paths should cross. Indeed it must be an outworking of our inner
subconscious."
"Me subconscious? Har har har!" Liam bellowed, slapping his guest on the back. "Ye've quite a mouth on ye Mr. Froyeed."
"Captain! What's our heading sir?"
"Set yer heading due east, Briny Jim. Methinks Mr. Froyeed here may be
helpful in locating her and her boatful of sultry she-devils. That is
the direction yer boat was headed, isn't it Mr. Froyeed?"
"Yah, Herr Captain, but if I may ask, whom is it you seek with such passion?"
Nefarious Liam's eyes narrowed, his grip on the deck railing tightened,
"The Widow Queen!" he said through clenched teeth, "I'll stop at
nothing 'til I find 'er! What d'ye know of 'er?" he demanded.
"Herr
Captain, it seems to me that you have amassed quite a bit of angst
toward this 'Widow Queen.' Tell me of your experience with her."
No one ever had to ask Nefarious Liam twice about the Widow Queen. His obsession with her was known by all far and wide.
"Nine times! Nine times she and her crew av seductive sirens have
bewitched and beguiled the very booty from under our noses. Not this
time! There will be no tenth! This time it will be she that tastes
defeat. I must have my revenge!"
"Very interesting, Herr Captain. A
very interesting study indeed. And tell me what was your childhood
like? Your relationship with your mother?"
"Well, as a lad, me best
friend was me doggy - Wait! Me mum? What d'ye want to know 'bout me mum
fer? No one talks 'bout me mum!" snarled Liam.
"Subject is
defensive, reluctant to address child-mother relationship," Freud
murmured to himself. "Forgive me Herr Captain. Simply making some
observations. Tell me, how has your health been? "
"Miserable," chimed in Briny Jim. "He never sleeps. Jest paces the floor in his quarters all night long."
"Hold yer tongue or I'll be holding it fer ye!" exploded Liam, suddenly
drawing his saber and leaping toward his first mate. "How is one to be
sleeping when she be haunting me dreams night after night?" he screamed.
"Signs of aggression...Dreams!?" Freud pounced on the word like an
eager child. "Tell me of your dreams, Herr Captain. I assure you it
will help you in your quest."
Nefarious Liam was tired of playing
the man's ridiculous game. But the stranger's promise enticed him to go
on. Sadly, he did not realize that Freud was simply talking about the
quest for self-awareness. With a reluctant glare, Liam began.
"Tis
always the same. I am on me ship the Big Tuna, its jest bigger somehow.
And I am in pursuit av the Queen's ship. Suddenly I find that its not
me in pursuit of her, but she that's in pursuit av me!" Nefarious Liam
leaned in closer to his attentive guest "and...I be naked!" he glanced
to the side to be certain that no one was listening in "...and there be
an octypus on me head."
"Aha!" Freud shouted, practically knocking
the captain over in his excitement. "It all makes perfect sense," he
exclaimed with an amused air.
"Mind watchyee say, Mr. Froyeed. I'll
be thanking ye to not be taking this matter lightly." Liam said,
clearly indicating to Freud that he did not share in his amusement.
"Pray what d'ye be finding so humorous 'bout me predikymint?"
"If I
may, Herr Captain, allow me to share with you my analysis. In your
dream, the ship represents a repressed desire to be free. Its size is
significant, but judging from the aggression you displayed early,
perhaps it would be best if we did not go into that." Freud glanced
warily at the captain and proceeded with caution. "Your nakedness is
indicative of the embarrassment or shame you fear should you fail your
crew. And the octopus simply represents a feeling that life is being
sucked from you...or perhaps it is a manifestation of your childhood
relationship with your dog."
Tears began to pour down Nefarious
Liam's cheeks. "Me ship!" he wailed "Me doggy!!" The entire crew
followed their captain's lead and began blubbering. The deck was filled
with cries of "Me ship!" and "Me doggy!!"
"Good, good. Yah, this is
good. Newly found self-awareness can be quite overwhelming. Embrace
your inner conflicts!" Freud was delighted. He had never seen his
psycho-analysis help so many at once!
Nefarious Liam looked up at
Freud and remembered the man's promise. "And what av me quest, Mr.
Froyeed? What av the Widow Queen?" He asked eagerly as he wiped his
nose with his sleeve.
"The Widow Queen is simply a representation of
your mother. You had the opportunity to "capture" her in your youth but
obviously had a very strained relationship. Subsequently you have
projected your feelings onto another seductive, elusive female - your
Widow Queen."
Liam snapped to life and hurdled himself at Freud "I
SAID, NO ONE TALKS 'BOUT ME MUM!" He grabbed Freud by the collar of his
tweed suit and threw him over the ship's rail. The crew looked on in
amazement, no one wanting to be the first to utter a word. A few tense
moments passed before the captain spoke.
"Due east, Briny Jim! Due
east." Liam said forcing himself into composure. With a determined
sigh, he reassured his crew. "Don't worry lads, we'll get 'er yet."
It was as though there had never been a visitor, never an analysis,
never a mention of the captain's dream where he's naked with an octopus
on his head. And yet, every hand aboard the Big Tuna that day left that
place knowing the importance of unconscious mental processes and early
child-development issues as they relate to the demands of reality.
THE END
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Schmemmles
Senior Officer and Poet
Dark Rays Above
Down the Lucky Rays
Sage Ocean | | |
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Where do I begin? I guess the highlights:
Nate and I got back from our spa weekend anniversary retreat not too long ago. We went to St. Joseph Institute for two wonderful days of relaxing, holistic cleansing and spiritual renewal. Met up a cute Christian couple there and had quite the "Road to Emmaus" experience as they invited us to follow them to their church and home in Altoona. Then we went to Fallingwater and had an amazing time in an amazing nature preserve, looking at amazing architecture. It was amazing.
We were totally bummed that we couldn't get tix to the one-night-only Flight of the Conchords performance at the TLA so we did some digging on the internet and found out about another New Zealand band "The Phoenix Foundation" was playing at the FotC "afterparty" at the World Cafe. We hoped perhaps we would get lucky and see the FotC boys. Boy did we!! Not only was the band really good, but we got to chat with Jemaine and Bret and had a really great time. It was so cool.
My student's had their recital recently. They did a tremendous job. Got so many great compliments from people. They make me so proud!
Had lots of fun at various family parties. Father's Day was great. So many people! Our family just keeps growing and growing. And everyone's so much fun too!
And of course, Steve's party. Let me tell you... Sarah throws one heck of a shindig! Lots of laughs, lots of Wii, lots of staying up late.
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| Life soundtrack If your life was a movie, what would the soundtrack be?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool... Opening Credits:
Eight Days a Week - The Beatles
So far so good...
Waking Up:
Sweetness - Jimmy Eat World This would be awesome, especially if the footage was in fast forward
First Day At School:
Why Georgia - John Mayer Sorta...
Falling In Love:
Bach Prelude in E Flat minor - Jacques Loussier Trio
Pretty cool
Fight Song:
A Rush of Blood to the Head - Coldplay
Excellent!
Breaking Up:
No One Else - Weezer
Kinda??
Prom:
The Rest Is Up to You - Relient K
Sounds like a fun prom
Life:
Gravity - Josh Joplin Group
Not as happy as I'd like, but real, so I'll take it
Mental Breakdown:
You Stepped Out of a Dream - Glenn Miller
I guess that could work, in some kind of weird, twisted, film festival movie
Driving:
Absolutely Zero - Jason Mraz
Yeah, I could see it
Flashback:
Winding Road - Bonnie Somerville (Garden State Soundtrack)
Very cool.
Wedding:
Breakthru - Queen
Weird, and yet somehow...
Birth of a Child:
Maybe Katie (Acoustic) - Barenaked Ladies
I guess maybe
Final Battle:
Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds - The Beatles
Not so sure how that works as battle music, unless the battle is drug related or at least very trippy
Death Scene:
The Downeaster "Alexa" - Billy Joel
Which must mean that I die in some sort of boating accident/typhoon/tsunami
Funeral Song:
Camera One - Josh Joplin Group
Very nice!
End Credits:
The Remedy (I Won't Worry) - Jason Mraz
Be sure to stay to the end, cause I'm sure there'd be a sequel trailer or at least bloopers or something.
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